Dancing at Discos

Two days before Christmas I realize how much peace I am finding within myself. I've got to find the colors and lights within myself, not because others think I'm vibrant or bright. Breathing through my nose is also something that I'll never take for granted...chest colds+life long asthma=not fun.

Hhowever, I'm finding some comfort in the music around me, the happiness of Christmas, and my friends. And "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash



Don't tell me that you didn't try to check out my bum, I know that you did, cause your friend told me that you liked it... Don't try and tell me you didn't love me, I know that you did, because you said it and you wrote it down.

There are a million things I could hate because of him, and there was a time when I thought I would.
I could never use chapstick
I could cry through Fiddler on the Roof
I could never go back to Ross Park Mall
I could never listen to Blink-182 again and cry whenever "I Miss You" comes on the radio
I could forever hate hazel/green eyes
I could never buy that obese golden retriever we wanted
I could never wear my cat ears I bought for you again
I could never wear the pair of jeggings you nearly fucked up.
I could never trust again.
I could never smile again.
I could never love again.

But I refuse to let myself fade like that. I am determined to be happy and be strong and hopefully to love again. I will not let you take me under.

Sitting at restaurants, thought we were so grownup, but I know that we were not the people that we turned out to be. Chatting on the phone, can't take back those hours, but I won't regret because I know you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

I guess you just have to learn to let your broken heart be a sign that you loved, took a chance, and lived. All you can do is rebuild. Life is too short to waste crying over spilled....milk? or stupid boys....or both...thank you for the ability to get stains out of jeggings. On that note, hope everyone is in the holiday spirit. Christmas, heck yes! I am excited and you should be too. Just because.