Not Like I Used to Be

So any average scene-indie-emo kid would speak of dreams, wanting to move to a big city live in a crap apartment with their partner in crime, a lifelong boyfriend or a best friend, work in a crappy coffee shop job while supporting their band, or novel, or art gallery. And yes, just maybe I'd always wanted this...my fun beginning where I'll meet indie-dark-haired-mucisian charming prince man and have my own little family with a fence and a dog and two kids, Ryden and Cassandra. Yes, I have planned that out. Only this is because the dream supports my own moral, or belief, or whathaveyou, that love is the only thing that will ever matter. I don't want money, which I'd need to find that apartment in NYC and to fund my eclectic wierdo expensive fashion taste; I just want my best friends and husband and kids.

Which I've said before, but I have to keep reminding myself. And I'll let it prop me up against all the fame and beauty I could be jealous of. But having a guy is not all that matters. I've got my friends and family to love, and that's okay. When the right guy presents himself, right is the key word in that sentence, there have been plenty unwanted presents, I'll just lick it up like icing on a cake. That wasn't supposed to be sexual. But it really, really sounded that way. Fail. But I'm happy with this, and apparently this is the happiest I've ever been, like my father said. I hope you can find it, too.

The reason for this post is because, wait for it....drumroll I'm going on vacation tomorrow! Here the angel choir sing! Flying to Boston, driving to Bar Harbour, taking the train to New York City. I will be reading, if I can find my book, and listening to music through my obnoxiously large Skull Candy headphones. It's all about the aesthetics for a bit here.

This week has been incredible. My birthday on Monday was amazing. Ms. Feeler and my other wife went to the zoo, and ate cake, and Ms. Feeler 'Spencer Smithed' up the hill. We have officially freaked out the neighbors too many times. Then, I had a bunch of my girls over Friday night. We went to see Scott Pilgrim. As surreal and trippy as it was, Trippin on Balls, I enjoyed it. But as the weekend came in, everyone went home, Ms. Feeler went to Vermont, and I'm exhausted to no end. And I still need to pack.

Mostly, I just miss Ms. Feeler. To a ridiculous amount. We didn't go more than 5 or 6days this summer without seeing each other this summer. 9 might kill me. I might have to storm her family on our way to Maine. We'll just make a left turn and end up in Vermont....right. We're definitely a married couple. Deal with it!




On a side note, jealousy over celebrity crush girlfriend hate thing needs to end. I just watched a video of Brendon Urie dedicating a song his girlfriend and there was HATE in the comment section. Okay, girls, as much as we love him, please realize that you will never, ever date him, or have a chance. It's something that crushes a million teenage girls a year, but even the Jonas girl freaks get it eventually. He's happy, they're adorable together, that's all that needs to be said. Brendon Urie happy, is basically all that matters. And he and Spencer churn out another goddamn record. I'm getting impatient.

Anyway, Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll. Love you and talk to you in a week.

Song of the Day: "Three Little Birds" covered by Bden.

Becoming Who We Are

Bonjour, bonjour, how are you darlings? Or the two to three people who read this. Ah, well. So my summer is just about winding down, next week full of orchestra camp, my birthday tomorrow, bonfire, something Friday, and then two days till vacation. I'm quite excited. We're going to Bar Harbor, which is totes where the Obama's went on vacation, and then spending 3 days in New York City.

Leaving Pittsburgh is....great. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the place, but I want to see bigger, better, less Steeler-centric things. I want to travel the world, see what I've been missing in this bubble. And I've always wanted to go to NYC. Not to mention I have some new sexy Guess jeggings to wear, which I might be in love with.



So I was going to attempt to say something epic as it's my last blog of being 14, but there is nothing. Other than I've had one of the best years of my life, finally found some place and fun and happiness. And the friends that matter more than anything in the world to me. They made this year and I hope they all know how much I love them. I haven't accomplished a ton, other than academics and violin solos. I've just experienced more, seen more, felt more, loved more. My eyes are open, my heart is open, my head is full and it's been pretty great looking back on it. There weren't any tragedies, nothing dramatic enough to kill my mood forever, and for that I'm grateful. I have more than I could've ever hoped for.

Cheers to another year of my life, 15 bitches!
*coughCHAUNCEYcough* ahem, I have a sore throat, my apologies. hehe

Song of the Day: There isn't one song to sum up what has happened, only an entire explosion of music running through my mind, but it can't be orchestrated into one song. So, maybe just for my future trip, "New York City Serenade" This song is one of the most beautiful I can think of.

Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll

Musical Madness

I could get used to this, friends and parties and pool and texting and talking all the time...interspersed with practicing and reading for summer reading, which is taking a ridiculously long time. I'm on panic cramming mode, but I have so much else going on I'm just zoning out to music to take a breather.

So....more Nevershoutnever. This song fits now. I'm turning fifteen in five days. Between the Taylor Swift song compared to this, it is quite entertaining. This is my fifteen, loves. Can't love Chris too much more. So what he might be a pot smoking jerk? pshhh:

Hey Monday "I Don't Wanna Dance" This is a message to all creepers/pedos. I don't wanna dance, I just wanna have fun, and you're not the one. Get yo hands off me. Yes I said yo.

The Brobecks "Love at First Site" Could it be love at first sight or should I walk by again? That pretty much says it all.

Panic! at the Disco's cover of Radiohead's "Karma Police" Yeah, yeah, yeah it can't compare to the original, something just comforts me in Brendon Urie's voice, so I'm posting this one. This song speaks for itself.

And, finally, Beyonce "Check On It" I love this song, and it's confidence and beyonce's beautiful voice and just her beautiful self make this song gold. Check on me tonight.
On that note, Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll