Letdown

There's so much I could say, yet I'd rather write a sentence. Seven months of my life spent believing that I was worth it, I knew what I was doing, I was in love, and was loved right back. That's it. So simple, and so stupid, so naiive, so childish, so me. I can't help after four months of being told that you loved me that I was in deep. And then it was never true. But I'd convinced myself I loved you, I was worth it, I was safe; I was happy.

But in then end, I was not. Well, I still feel I love you. Maybe I'm full of shit, maybe I'm crazy, but that's what I feel. And you don't. You won't. You've only liked me less, I've changed, I've been a letdown. So I'm sorry. I'd change in a second to have you love me. I'd erase it all, I'd die in a second to go back, but it would be fake anyway.

So openly, anyone reading this, watched my own happiness build. It's as embarrassing as ever to have believed that I'd found everything. I still haven't. And I doubt there is anyone out there that can care for me like he did. So I'm all over worthless again.

Then, I take a step back and look at the one's who have been waiting for us to end, trying for me. And maybe there will be someone, but no one will ever replace what he's meant, who he is, how he's treated me. There will always be a part of me with him.

And with all this melodrama, I don't blame him, it's none of our faults, it's understandable. He's got a week to prove his care, but I think I've made up my mind. I can't waste my summer in pain. Prayin in vain for a savior to rise from these streets. Song quote yes, just felt like it.

But in all honesty, I'm not as hurt as I'd be if I had to face him every day, the cycle would repeat, he'd pull me in with his sweet talk, and then it would repeat. At least now I've got support from my friends, and sleep, and my writing. Now I have hours to think. If he's reading this, I'll miss you, but don't ever tell me forever or love unless you mean it. I listen and believe that you care for me, cared for me, but we don't have any future. And for your future girl, try for her really hard and mean it. Don't break her and then try to hold on to the pieces.

Song of the Day:
Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll.