The Tale of the Orange Pedo Man!

Last Friday I was in Walmart with my mom after dinner with my friends. It was around 8:30, not too late but dark enough that it was slightly creepy. School was cancelled due to the snow, there was a snow back that was considerably taller than I(snow bank pwn)in the parking lot and I was in a fantastic mood. I was singing and dancing through the aisles, annoying the hell out of my mom. And then, it began to remind me of the DesandNate 9 and 1/2 video.

Walmaart gets creepy after about 7:00. No idea why, but there weren't alot of people there whatsoever. Our walmart is usually so crowded people ram into each other's carts, cause soup avalanches, and are generally in an awful mood. The awful mood was still in place, and my oddly spastic mood didn't quite fit, thus I got strange looks. I turned down an aisle, pushing the cart, in search of hot cocoa mix. In my mind I was picking stuff out that reminded me of DesandNate. Suddenly, a man turned into the aisle with a Hitler mustache. I almost laughed out loud. Guns don't kill people, people with mustaches do! I thought practically nothing of the man, and kept shopping.
PEDO HORSE(is a friend of mr. mustachio)
My mum had her usual check out line picking fail, and we ended up behind a family of screaming toddlers, checking out enough food to feed the Steelers. Legit. I stood in line, texting and making fun of Kate Goselin's extensions. But then I decided to turn around and right next to a massive bin of oranges was the Htiler mustachio man staring right at me. Mr. Mustachio we shall call him.

Dun, dun, dun!

I'm not usually one to freak out about this stuff. I've been perved on before and I've grown accustomed to ignoring it, or simply thinking that I imagined it. But this man gave the absolute creeps. He didn't move, just stand next to the oranges and stare at me. What was he doing? Did I know him? Why is he just standing there? I could not figure it out. When I turned around a second time, his back was to mine. I shrugged him off. Then, about three minutes later I turned around once more, and Mr. Mustachio was looking straight at me. I averted my gaze and began to get a little freaked out. This turn around, turn back around pattern continued for about ten minutes, while the family was checking out hoards of milk and poptarts. Finally, I whispered to my mother that there was a man with a sinister mustache staring at me. She thought initially that I was being imaginative, until she turned around and caught him looking at me. She gave me a mom look and hid me behind a rack of magazines. Every once in a while I'd turn around, and there he was, staring right back at me.

I was really starting to shake.

And then, he walked by, with his eyes transfixed on me, and stood in the checkout line next to us. From there he just kept staring. I quickly grabbed a few plastic bags and speed walked out of the store. I was sure I was going to be molested or something. By the time we got in the car, my heart was racing and I was shaking. I'd never felt so creeped out. Note to everyone else, if you see a hitler mustached pedo, run for your life!

Song of the Day: I can totally play the violin solo.

Peace, love, and Rock n' roll!