The Tale of the Orange Pedo Man!

Last Friday I was in Walmart with my mom after dinner with my friends. It was around 8:30, not too late but dark enough that it was slightly creepy. School was cancelled due to the snow, there was a snow back that was considerably taller than I(snow bank pwn)in the parking lot and I was in a fantastic mood. I was singing and dancing through the aisles, annoying the hell out of my mom. And then, it began to remind me of the DesandNate 9 and 1/2 video.

Walmaart gets creepy after about 7:00. No idea why, but there weren't alot of people there whatsoever. Our walmart is usually so crowded people ram into each other's carts, cause soup avalanches, and are generally in an awful mood. The awful mood was still in place, and my oddly spastic mood didn't quite fit, thus I got strange looks. I turned down an aisle, pushing the cart, in search of hot cocoa mix. In my mind I was picking stuff out that reminded me of DesandNate. Suddenly, a man turned into the aisle with a Hitler mustache. I almost laughed out loud. Guns don't kill people, people with mustaches do! I thought practically nothing of the man, and kept shopping.
PEDO HORSE(is a friend of mr. mustachio)
My mum had her usual check out line picking fail, and we ended up behind a family of screaming toddlers, checking out enough food to feed the Steelers. Legit. I stood in line, texting and making fun of Kate Goselin's extensions. But then I decided to turn around and right next to a massive bin of oranges was the Htiler mustachio man staring right at me. Mr. Mustachio we shall call him.

Dun, dun, dun!

I'm not usually one to freak out about this stuff. I've been perved on before and I've grown accustomed to ignoring it, or simply thinking that I imagined it. But this man gave the absolute creeps. He didn't move, just stand next to the oranges and stare at me. What was he doing? Did I know him? Why is he just standing there? I could not figure it out. When I turned around a second time, his back was to mine. I shrugged him off. Then, about three minutes later I turned around once more, and Mr. Mustachio was looking straight at me. I averted my gaze and began to get a little freaked out. This turn around, turn back around pattern continued for about ten minutes, while the family was checking out hoards of milk and poptarts. Finally, I whispered to my mother that there was a man with a sinister mustache staring at me. She thought initially that I was being imaginative, until she turned around and caught him looking at me. She gave me a mom look and hid me behind a rack of magazines. Every once in a while I'd turn around, and there he was, staring right back at me.

I was really starting to shake.

And then, he walked by, with his eyes transfixed on me, and stood in the checkout line next to us. From there he just kept staring. I quickly grabbed a few plastic bags and speed walked out of the store. I was sure I was going to be molested or something. By the time we got in the car, my heart was racing and I was shaking. I'd never felt so creeped out. Note to everyone else, if you see a hitler mustached pedo, run for your life!

Song of the Day: I can totally play the violin solo.

Peace, love, and Rock n' roll!

Hope this is the last time.

It's about time that we tackle the issue of CREEPERS. Many women are strucken by the disease which can be known as fly paper or simply creeper prone. They can range from the one's who walk with you every once in a while, talk to you obsessively, text you every moment of the day, or legitimattly stalk you. Over the years I have had each one of these happen to me. Alot, too. It's quite difficult to sort out the good from the bad, well, sometimes it's just obvious, but sometimes it can be tricky. I'm seriously annoyed it all. I'm not one to get angry or eastily annoyed, at worst I'm just sullen. But this is beginning to get to me.

In some ways it's flattering that kids ask you for pictures, not the kind with turtle neck sweaters, in a very sick, creepish way. But mostly it's just sick and creepy. In years past I really haven't cared. At all. I don't believe when they compliment me, most of it is totally bs so they can convince me to send them a picture. I do not have the best body in the school or will ever be the hottest chick you've ever met. Don't try it.

Also, I've learned some things that I really never wanted to no. Personally, I always liked highlighters because they make neon colors. But yesterday they were totally ruined for me. There is one sitting to my left, and I'm making a face at it as I type. If you really want the full story on this just ask, though I warn you not to. But in retrospect I probably knew alot of this before, just from paying attention to my enviornment, but really, I did like highlighters. Sadface.

The most difficult part to this whole drama is responding to these perverted comments/questions. No one ever teaches you how the hell to come up with an excuse to why not to send nude pictures to someone. Ever. Other than the obvious no, I've seriously had to put on my thinking cap to create some new excuses. But thankfully I'm not single, so that's the biggest fail of other people hitting on me. I'm not going to suddenly leave mon copain for you! Sorry, but it ain't happenin'. Get over it. If you're not with me, please get away from me.

I'm so done with this! And if anyone else happens to stumble upon this and can empathize and/or need advice feel free to comment!

Peace, Love, and Rock n' roll.

With this fever, FEVER!

Well, it's been a while. I got swallowed whole by a few deciding grade exams and a pre-Christmas essay present. I went all out with a good seven pages in forty minutes. Anyway, Christmas was quiet, and didn't really seem like christmas. I got a new camera, phone(yay no more "vintage" flip), and a few dresses including a very cute one from modcloth.

Squeal.

But I had a much better time giving out gifts to twelve of my friends total. I'm giving mon copain his gift tomorrow. And I'm in a generous mood. It's much more fun giving gifts that excite people, whether it's a car or a hug, I'd prefer the latter, the gift giving smiles are pricless.

Texting is becoming alot more personal than you'd think. It's almost the most impersonal thing yet alot happens over those damn phones. This whole sexting thing adds a major dose of drama and can easily screw an entire reputaion with one click of a button. Yikes. Careful kiddies.

Anyway, Christmas just reminded again of what matters. The ones who actually care and love you. Think about. Which friend told you, called you, or even texted you merry Christmas? Those are probably the keepers; the ones who mean something. Keep priorities and hope. It's times like these that can hurt more than any others. The whole "Christmas Spirit" thing is totally bs most of the tiime, other than the highs kids get on candy canes and chocolate. You have to find happiness on your own. Not with a holiday, or a friend, or that one special person that doesn't seem to want you. Go find the resolution for yourself. And stop complaining. That never gets anyone anywhere.

Let's rise up.

Oh and did I mention that I'm totally head over heels in love with Adam Lambert's new album. He is quite delicious.

Peace, love, and rock n' roll.

Song of the Day:
My one and own, I wanna get you alone, give you a fever, fever.

Every Morning I Wake Up....

I officially hate my alarm clock. It's like every morning, no, the middle of the night, at 5:35, this animal, demon, creature starts to bitch at me to wake up. I have to crawl out of my bed, stretch, and continue another day of my dead end, boring, luckless life. It's a never ending cycle, repeat, repeat, repeat.

It's seriously getting to me. I'm so tired that I nod off continuously, in a semi-concious state for at least to periods a day. Mostly social studies and geometry. An emptiness, and sheer lack of motivation just overwhelms me. Why do I have to get out of bed every morning? To spend another pointless day working. It never ends. And then, it occurs to me that for the rest of my life, it's going to be like this. Constant fatigue, and worry, and ache, and emptiness, and lifelessness. Obviously, my mood is a little sour.

Anyway, I REALLY need to write, but I've had so many other writing assignments that it's just gotten pushed back. I need Christmas break. Now. But I'm going to be sick, along with other fun ailments anyway, so it's just gonna be blah. I did buy gifts for my friends, and I hope they like them. It took awhile! Yay.

blah.

Song of the Day: Btw, this song came on shuffle the first time I put all the No Doubt stuff on my ipod on my birthday. It creeped me out.

Today the first winter snow fell, in tiny little flakes, drifting and swirling through the air. It made everything wet and cold, only dusting the ground, but it set the stage for the rest of my day. The smallest things make the biggest impact nowadays. So the rest of the day, while it snowed, I didn't change the radio station when all those cheesy christmas songs came on, or stare apethitcally out the window. It got me in enough holiday spirit that I ended up making cookies, which I think I broiled instead of baked. The first batch isn't entirely cooked. So I think I might get food poisening. I'm waiting for the sick feeling now. Oh, well.

Ma mere is out shopping and mon pere is at work, so I'm stuck at home with mon petite frere. Ugh. And his friend. Who just play COD ALL DAY! I swear I can see the graphics in my sleep. I should be doing geometry homework, or finishing a chapter in RITF, but nooooo. I'm reading fanfiction and baking cookies and blogging. Why? Because I can. Not having school empowers me. And because I have not an ounce of concentration.

I went to a friend's party last night and had a blasty blast. Everyone there was the most random motley crew of kids you could've picked. The only we really shared in common was music taste, Converse sneakers (I made a costom pare with purple zebra stripes, and, yeah, they're pretty bitchin), and DesandNate.

He makes me so angry I want to kill a magician and where him as an outfit travelling on a trip to hawaii!




Anyway, there's a sharp contrast from the preppy-perfect table I switch back and forth from at lunch, where everyone eats their lunch without a crumb misplaced, never swears, and wear purity rings, not that theres anything wrong with that, and my friends I was with last night. A poser-gay kid molested a friend and I and there was an Abby squared spooning session. It only makes me love the people I hang out more. And then we skateboarded in a giant methodist church parking lot. There was no expensive food, fancy clothes, or cups/plates, but that was one of the better nights of my life.

The point is: embrace the cheese, laugh, love, and live a little. A little bit of fun never hurt anyone. And you don't need money or beauty to have a good time. It's time to take off your serious panties and put on the frilly polka dot thong. Do it!

Oh, and if you don't like what you read, go somewhere else, like a less honest, boring blog.

Peace, Love and Rock n' Roll!
Song of the Day:

Simple Kind of Life Dreaming

Well, I'm making the post now, just because I want to be in a better mood.


First off we have something Blue and postively delicious.
And is that Marlyn Manson I see? Yeah, please no. That's my limit of crazy men adoration. I don't know, maybe my color pallette is a little strange, but there's something mesmerizing about the drama and fit of the dress. Plus, I'm so pale the dead bride look would be perfect

Second, is the Lacy Bride (on the left, I have no idea how to get the pictures below the text), standing as something old from the Victorian Era. It's about the drama and mermaid fit for me. I do adore it.


The third is my something new. I really do adore the red dress. It's just totally beautiful, so formal and almost gothic romantic. I'm in love with the Red Hot Brides website I found it on, too.

The fourth is the gothic uber formal black dress. And between the drama and the plain irony of wearing a black dress is appealing to me. Ma famille would not approve.


The last is something more simple, but really quite pretty. The one shoulder embelishment is very pretty, along with the sweetheart neckline. Tres belle!


Well, that's enough dreaming for one day. I'm off to do some last minute homework. Of course.

Growing Up or Going Down?

So take your tears, put 'em on ice cause I swear I'd burn the city down to show you the light


As much as I love time off from school, it only makes me realize how dependent I am on mon copain. This entire weekend has been fine, though I've been entirely alone, my friends not seeming to want to do anything together, so I'm just sitting here wishing I had any idea how he was doing. My sanity slips away when were apart a little too long.

I didn't hear from him yesterday, but distracted myself by watching the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame Concert. Bruce Springsteen always manages to put me in a good mood. Ma mere and I sang along to Born to Run, and I felt ok.

And then I woke up this morning, watched Say Yes to the Dress, which is really quite amusing. Hmmm. I need to make a dream wedding dress post, which is only evidence of this whole hopeless romantic thing. I've always wanted to wear Helena's dress in the My Chemical Romance video. Or just jeans and t-shirt

Ugh, ADHD is kicking in.

Anyway, I decided to look in the Mirror, and that friggin thing just reflected another disgusting reflection and this one sent me over the edge. First came the utter frustration, and then the let down. I'm so tired of this body.

On top of that, there's this kid I've been helping out. I asked the girl he likes out for him, gave him advice, comforted him when she rejected him, basically playing mommy/girl who can be used. My overall sweet, nice to everyone personality makes me a prime target for being used. It's happened before and will happen again. Well, he decides to go and tell me I'm unattractive and ugly.

I'm so done with being nice to everyone, helping everyone. It's gotten me nowhere. Men will always use me. They'll always think of me as the ugly girl that can help them, whether its for some confidence or to make their girlfriend jealous. Really, I'm done. I've tried my entire life to be someone that's good and loving, but it's only broken my heart ten times over. I never cared much about the kid, but it hurts nonetheless.

In my self-loathing meltdown, my mother told me that I was just as vain as the other douchebags that are referred to as peers, if I hated myself just because of they way I look. And it's true. That's where the insecurity comes from. And I think it's time for a major self re-evaluation. I will not care about how I look anymore. I'm in love with a sweet boy, and I'm cared for. I won't be greedy and ask for beauty. I will not shrink to the level of my peers and judge others only on appearance.

But I've concluded that being in love doesn't solve the problems that I have with myself. Those can only be solved by my soul. No one else can save me now. But I do miss him badly.

Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll.