My Pretty Little Angel

On a less mushy-romantic note than the title would suggest, I'm taking a study/eating/discussing college options break to write. I start to get this itch, with the only adrenaline that seems to run through me nowadays, when I start focusing too much on school or just sit around all day. That has become my life for the most part anyway.

It's gotten to the point where I spend so much energy on school that I have no more energy left to sit here and type about some huge issue like the crisis in Lybia or Japan, let alone the divisions forming in our own country.

That is such a superficial list. I just listed millions of casualties, decades of hate, and a possible 2nd civil war in the same sentence like what I ate for breakfast, which was an English muffin and peanut butter bar.

It's true, contentedness is the biggest cause of writer's block. I've been strangely happy lately. Not in an over-zealous way, but in some odd healthy thing that doesn't end with me crying my eyes out and yelling at everyone around me.

My grades are improving, somehow, as well as the sky around me. The snow should melt by Monday and maybe even some sunshine will show through. Summer's on the tip of my tongue, as well as freedom. Freshmen year is my last chance to make mistakes, as dumb as that sounds, 10th and 11th grade seem to be the biggest college factors in high school GPA range. That doesn't even factor in how many SAT prep course I'm going to take over the next two years.

But, when it comes down to it, I feel the touches of freedom, teenage restlessness, or sleeplessness. Those three words, or four if you take out contractions, are not what you'd think. I don't care. Through all of the mechanical work and exhaustion I still have this naiive childish view of the world. I still want love and happiness and still want to move to the ocean one day and write music all day.

So basically I'm on this fast-track future of hard work and stress for the rest of my life, but I can't shake who I am. I can't leave my music, my poems, or my heart as simple childish past times. They're part of who I am. Maybe it's like that glory and final paradise hope of blue collar working all those Springsteen songs are about. Maybe I'm just full of shit.

But it comes down to the point where I either sell out, and focus on books from now on, or take on the impossible task of balancing everything. Tonight there is a light in my heart, and it reminds me that I will never compromise who I am. I will never forget my music or my writing or my love. That will always be me. I can't let go, I refuse.

Song of the Day: "Stall Me" Panic! at the Disco. Sexy, refreshing, energetic. Sounds like Spring to me.

Important Facts

So, why are you reading this? You should be out there, buying Vices & Virtues and jamming to probably the catchiest record of the year.

If you're not buying the album, you should be eating.

Seriously.

Eating is important...hence you need the nutrients from food to survive.

Pick up the sandwhich, lift it towards your mouth, and take a bite

See? Isn't that better?

Anorexia is not the new little black dress. It is not the new sexy. It is not the new pair of jeggings from True Religion. Or those Betsey Johnson hot pink and leopard pumps. It is the farthest thing from attractive.

EATTTTTT! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

Catch Me Like A Cold

Hey, stranger, I want to catch you like a cold.

Sometimes I like to walk down the street, listening to some sunshine-y She & Him song, "Sweet Darlin" or "I Was Made for You" depending on my mood, gently sashaying my hips, and pretend to be Zooey Deschenal....or as lovely as her character in (500) Days of Summer, minues the ice queen factor.

Then, other times I like to stand in my room, blaring "Badlands" and air guitaring rigidly, and pretend that I'm Bruce Springsteen playing a show for thousands of New Yorkers at Madison Square Garden.

Next, I enjoy dancing around my room like a mad person, with my left hand behind my back, making ridiculous faces, pretending I'm Brendon Urie surrounded by the screams of girls nearly half his age dying to sleep with him....not that I want that, but it's an interesting feeling.

Anyway, it was just last Friday (cue the Rebecca Black, "It's Fridayyy, Fridayyya, Fridayya) I realized living my own life is pretty entertainnig. Screaming over drunk people awkwardly at Mexican restuarants, driving around blaring Beyonce, sprinting through the parking lot at Giant Eagle in 3 inch heels away from the car we dented with our passenger door, and generally freaking out passerbys by the sudden leg that just appeared in the backseat window of that parked car sound lame to everyone else, but, hell, I'm having way too much fun.

Even if it is the only fun I have all week.

A certain essay dinasour -ahempoulakosaurus- swallowed me whole in assignments. I'm taking a break and jamming to Vices & Virtues for the thousandth time....I'm in love with Panic! at the Disco to such an extent that I basically fangirlgasm every time I hear one of their new songs. And my face looks something like this.


I'm so ready for this...and by this I mean everything.

Everything, everything, everything.

Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll

"Trade Mistakes" - Panic! at the Disco. Hellz to the yes.

Let The Sun Rain Down On Me

Well, well, well, Panic! at the Disco is back mfers! Between "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" and the live versions of "Let's Kill Tonight" and "Nearly Witches" I've been on music cloud nine. Might be the only thing keeping me on the surface from falling into a homework rut.


So many damn essays...anyway, I'm pretty sure I love my friends more than life itself. Thank God I have them. I don't know what I'd do without these guys.

So, I have nothing interesting to say.

Here's a song cookie!

Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll

<3 <3 <3

Musical Madness

I could get used to this, friends and parties and pool and texting and talking all the time...interspersed with practicing and reading for summer reading, which is taking a ridiculously long time. I'm on panic cramming mode, but I have so much else going on I'm just zoning out to music to take a breather.

So....more Nevershoutnever. This song fits now. I'm turning fifteen in five days. Between the Taylor Swift song compared to this, it is quite entertaining. This is my fifteen, loves. Can't love Chris too much more. So what he might be a pot smoking jerk? pshhh:

Hey Monday "I Don't Wanna Dance" This is a message to all creepers/pedos. I don't wanna dance, I just wanna have fun, and you're not the one. Get yo hands off me. Yes I said yo.

The Brobecks "Love at First Site" Could it be love at first sight or should I walk by again? That pretty much says it all.

Panic! at the Disco's cover of Radiohead's "Karma Police" Yeah, yeah, yeah it can't compare to the original, something just comforts me in Brendon Urie's voice, so I'm posting this one. This song speaks for itself.

And, finally, Beyonce "Check On It" I love this song, and it's confidence and beyonce's beautiful voice and just her beautiful self make this song gold. Check on me tonight.
On that note, Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll

All the Pretty Girls

Sooo....I really don't want to do my summer reading packet right now. i just finished my first book and have two more to read in less than a month. Holy crap. It's cram time, btiches. The five hour train ride from Boston to NYC this summer actually sounds really helpful. I'll just sit there with my earphones shoved in my head blaring my music. Which will probably be New York City Serenade, Empire State of Mind, or Jungleland. And yes, I like the music to be a soundtrack of my life.

Tonight I'm distracting myself with Brendon Urie picspam. I've already stayed up all night goofing off with my friends mindlessly. And often we end up watching random band videos. Why? Because a video of Brendon Urie air thrusting midsong is better than feasting on more goldfish and watching Teen Mom.

If I sat here and posted all my favortie videos and pictures of him I'd be here all night. So I won't. All I know is that they're sadly not playing new stuff in China, as Zach said on LJ, but for the love of god throw us a freakin bone here! GAhhhhhh. Mother truckin long time for an album early 2011.

Deep breaths, abby, deep breaths.

I will be patient and wait for the album because it will be best for the boys and the music blah blah blah....ya they need to at least release a single...or finish the "oh glory" clip. And that does not mean add fake audio porn to the end of it! Distrubing! I won't even explain that! Random creeper fangirls doctoring song clips. Shudder. Anyway, I had to rant. Fall Out Boy isn't releasing anything in the near future hence the hiatus, Paramore's on tour and I'm missing it which pisses me off, but whatever, and All Time Low is releasing an album early 2011 too. so then I have two wives, on of which misses me and my other wife, and the other is keeping my hoodie hostage, jk take your time I don't miss it, it's hot, and has stolen my v-card.


Not that I didn't enjoy it. So basically I'm tired, insane, impatient, filled to the brim with creativity to write, but NO! I have to do summer reading. Blerg. Just
Blerg. C'mon panic, make my night here....shirtless photos will not silence fans.

Song of the Day: All the Pretty Girls by Fun.

Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll. Btw, that picture of us was taken late at night after watching Live in Chicago continually. And I was suffering from some feverish disease. Probably brought on from the sexiness.

Take a Bite of my Heart Tonight.

Long time no write, I know, I know. My excuse: The homework/school dino ate my face for a good three weeks.

Anyway, I just read over my old posts thanks to a certain reader of mine reminding me of how creepy I sound sometimes. I realized that I've described myself to be some creeper weird ugly fail, which is pretty much an okay description, but, yeah, I'm not like that all the time. At some points I might actually have redeeming qualities. It all depends on the person you ask, which depends on perspective.

Perspective is huge part of life. Taking a step in someone else's shoes can change entire outlook on one's life. I see it in politics, school, relationships, family ordeals, wars, hatred, conflicts of any sort. With an open mind the world is beautiful place. What I'm trying to say is that if someone else were to judge me they will probably perceive differently than I perceive myself. Lately, though, I've been off the self analysis stuff and am focusing more on more important topics.

Such as how much I like food, future plans, and dresses. I passed up a $560 Italian designer dress at Nordstrom's last week. I actually thought that I looked amazing for the first time in my life in that dress. It fit like a glove and showed everything off right. Problem: it wasn't the right fit for a daytime ceremony or dance and was a little over our budget for 8th grade graduation dresses. Obviously. But I did dress at White House Black Market and Pacsun. I'd show the gorgeously amazing WHBM dresses but their website is being a fail. And mon copain doesn't want to see my dresses yet. He wants to be surprised.

In music news, I love the new Motion City Soundtrack stuff and Neon Trees and the Temper Trap. And the new TYV(the young veins) song. But every time I listen to them there's a surge of Ryan Ross annoyance anger that overtakes me and I end up writing songs about cheating men and musicians and BLAH. It doesn't end well. If anyone has contact with the Panic boys, please inform them that we're all kinda dying for info on the new album. I don't want them to rush the process but at least update on the status of it would be nice. I'm beginning to think that Spencer and Brendon are struggling writing songs without Ryan or Jon, but I can't doubt them. Not after the epicness of the "Oh Glory" song clip. What an epic flail worthy thirty seconds.

In drama news, things are as usual. Random ass grabs/slaps in the halls, the random comments out of nowhere, staring. Creepers as always. I'm glad that my friends are beginning to get first boyfriends and kisses and hugs. Their happiness is lovely. Everyone is starting to find a little bit of peace and confidence I hope. They all deserve it. That entire last passage sounded like kittens and fairies and sugar, but in retrospect, all is well.

LAX game for thy brother tomorrow early(my dad's the boy's lacrosse president for our district so we have to go to all the games) Joy.

Song of the Day: I love these lyrics. Not the song of my life atm, but just right.
Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll